Choosing love over fear becomes difficult when we feel as if we’re being blamed, attacked emotionally, or harshly criticized. It is in these situations that we tend to choose fear, possibly even subconsciously. If our identity or ego is threatened, we can’t continue our comfortable narrative about who we are and what we stand for. This reaction to fear creates conflict within us, and we over-react instead of simply being with that fear. We become defensive, and as a result, we can become hurtful to those we love the most. But if we can become more aware of our actions and reactions, and choose love over fear, we can live in alignment with our authentic selves.

Here are three ways to begin making the conscious choice of love over fear!

1. 1. Don’t Wait for a Crisis – We already know that fear will raise its ugly head in times of crisis. That gives us all the power to choose love over fear and make it a practice in our lives so that when the time comes, it is our natural inclination. Just about any interaction with another person offers the opportunity to practice choosing love. And it also offers the opportunity to practice being who we want to be – exhibiting the traits and attitudes we value. Practicing this way allows us to hone our intuition, and realize that when something feels “off”, it may be that we’re veering into fear instead of love.

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   2. Stop Reacting – In each interaction, decision, or conversation throughout your day, stop to take a deep breath, and question your thoughts and actions. Listen to the quiet place within yourself to decide if what you’re doing or saying is coming from a place of fear or love. When people talk to you, truly stop and listen to them – take in what they’re saying and consider its truthfulness. If your first instinct is to become defensive and reactive, it is a sure sign that you’re choosing love over fear. It can be uncomfortable, but incredibly healthy, to at least entertain others’ views of us.

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   3. Eliminate Ego – Anyone who has been in, or is in, a successful, happy, respectful relationship (not just romantic relationships, either!) knows that ego does not belong. When we set aside our ego, our need to control, our need to be right, we allow space for love to enter and guide our lives. Operating from that space of love means that we become more empathetic, willing to consider how another person thinks or feels, even if it is very different from how we think or feel. This lends the other person validity, and that can allow them to open up to love and trust. So eliminating ego, and operating from a place of love has a ripple effect that can be very far-reaching and wonderful!

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After practicing for awhile, you’ll find that choosing love over fear becomes the natural path you take. You’ll find that the rewards are enormous – greater peace with what is, who we are, and how we view others. You’ll become less judgemental, less reactive, and feel more free to be the amazing, unique, and authentic person you are!

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